Homestuck: Intermission
|image = Intermissionopening.gif‎ |icon = |caption = |start = |end = |length = 204 pages |previous = Act 3: Insane Corkscrew Haymakers |next = Act 4: Flight of the Paradox Clones }} The Intermission is titled It follows the Midnight Crew as they try to locate and crack 's secret vault and exact revenge upon their rival gang, . Click the " " to open the page from Homestuck. * The curtains switch to reveal the Intermission. Spades Slick enters the manor of 's leader, . * Spades deploys his War Chest and finds a back-up hat with two black liquorice scottie dogs and numerous cards. He retrieves his Crosbytop from his War Chest and goes to mspaintadventures.com. The current adventure, from his timeline, is Homestuck. Spades then contemplates his vendetta itinerary and heist map. * Clubs Deuce reports that he has captured again. * Clubs is introduced as he 'interrogates' by tapping him with a crook and swapping hats with him. * appears in a flash, swapping everyone’s hat and releasing , who attempts to escape. * Spades 'accidentally' trips and beats him to death. * appears in a flash of light. * Clubs rifles through his Battledrobe, finding several explosives, a cane, his back-up hat, two pieces of black licorice, and a copy of Black Inches. * Clubs ends up putting bombs underneath both his and 's hats. * Diamonds Droog is introduced. Diamonds looks through his Brawlsoleum. It contains multiple back-up hats, back-up suits, and two red Swedish Fish. * punches Diamonds from the future. Using his radio, Diamonds relays 's future position to Clubs and follows a path of blood upstairs. * Clubs ties up once again using a Stretch Armstrong Doll and stores him in his Battledrobe. He then flips the fuck out upon realizing his cane is made out of a bull's penis. * In an alternate timeline, cheats in a game of cards with . inserts 's pin in his voodoo and appears in front of Spades in a flash of light. Spades "makes friends" with by clubbing him in the head. * uses one of his Midnight-Crew-shaped pins to travel to a timeline where Spades is dead. Spades' earlier claim to have "made this town" turns out to be true, as ends up in a bluish-red desert wasteland. A pink moon (with a smaller pink satellite moon) and a green moon are visible in the sky. * Hearts Boxcars is introduced. He discovers that 's safe is too big to tear out of the wall and deduces that the clock-faced safe can probably only be opened by manipulating the flow of time. Hearts decides to call Clubs to blow it up. * Hearts deploys his Wrathtub and calls Clubs, only to be interrupted by . * Three different versions of appear to join . * Clubs goes to where Diamonds instructed. * Upstairs, Diamonds finds a bullet-riddled room containing one of 's teeth sitting near a pool of blood. attempts to punch Diamonds from the past, but Diamonds fights back, smacking and then shooting him. * takes Spades' pin out of the voodoo doll, ending up in front of Spades where he is promptly killed. Spades places 's pin in the voodoo doll for good measure. * Clubs follows Diamonds and drops off . finds and, upon removing 's hat, both are killed (sometime in the future) by a bomb placed by Clubs. * , quickly losing blood, starts following Clubs. He attempts to kill Clubs but is worried that his current state will cause him to set off the C4 balanced on Club's head. * Dozens of and harass Hearts while creating numerous mostly-unstable time loops. watches the predicament from above. * watches as ' time loops cause the fabric of 's Cairo Overcoat to tear. * stumbles into 's workshop and dies before can fix his corresponding effigy. Clubs barges in and ends up at gunpoint. * Diamonds gets the drop on and kidnaps him, storing him in his Brawlsoleum. * Spades, having realized that he needs 's crowbar to open the safe, travels to a timeline in which is still alive and fighting the Midnight Crew, along with and . * is introduced, shooting stops temporarily and sticks her cigarette holder/lance into Spades' eye. * Spades hits with the lance/cigarette holder and both are transported into the past. Spades kills with the Saber Rattle/Four of Spades. * Spades throws Occam's Razor/King of Spades at , who deflects it into , teleporting all three into the distant past. The landscape is nearly identical to the wasteland where ended up after using his ability on Spades. In the far background is a wrapped figure who bears a striking resemblance to other desert dwellers. On closer inspection, he is revealed to be the Scurrilous Straggler. * Spades stuffs into his War Chest and stabs at , bringing them all to the future, slightly after the gunfight that never happened. Hearts Boxcars is waiting there. Spades takes Hearts's Wrathtub, stuffs and 's corpse into that, then stuffs that into his War Chest. * Spades sticks 's pin back in, bringing him back to the original timeline. Spades drops his War Chest, and and pop out. shoots at Spades, who deflects the bullets into . Everyone goes into the past slightly, where another exists. The new and trade shots and disappear to some unknown point in the timeline. * Spades goes into the future (slightly before and explode) and decapitates , , and . * Diamonds puts backup hats on two effigies, making them correspond to him and Spades. * Spades starts riding his horse hitcher with lance in hand, but he is seen by . Spades responds by throwing his hat down on the ground in anger. * Diamonds and Clubs start shooting at the huge mass of and with Hearts in the middle. The two idiotic members pull Diamonds and Clubs into the fight next to Hearts. * moves his lighter towards Spades' and Diamonds' effigies. Spades charges in and impales him through the torso with the lance. * and explode again - this time in the present. * Spades crushes ' Egg Timer with 's crowbar, and the unstable time loops stop, leaving an unharmed and staring blankly. * Hearts eats ' head. Like a snake. * goes back into his oven. Spades uses the crowbar on the oven to little effect, since the oven has no real temporal properties. * Clubs Deuce puts some dynamite in the oven and wheels it off so that when emerges, the dynamite will explode. Sometime in the future, the dynamite does explode, leaving only , , , and alive. * Spades begins an attempt to open the safe with 's crowbar, but frantically suggests he do otherwise. Spades asks him how to open the safe, but refuses to tell and begins singing and dancing. * Diamonds 'asks' to open the safe by pointing a gun at his head. laughs at Diamonds' threat, saying that with his good luck, the gun would jam or something else predictable would save him. Diamonds begins whacking him with a newspaper (actually the wrappers of Diamonds' private sordid literature). * makes his appearance, busting through a nearby wall Kool-Aid Man style, while ogles Diamonds' literature. * charges into Diamonds and punches him into next week, from April 13 to April 20, when he is doing his grocery shopping. * Hearts flails ' torso at , only to be punched right off the calendar into a different, outdated calendar featuring spirited horses. * Spades uses the crowbar to force open the vault door, sending him into a timeline where the entire mansion has been destroyed and, of the entire and Midnight Crew, seemingly only he, and remain alive. * Spades goes into the vault. Inside he finds only an opening on the floor with a spade keyhole. Spades produces his Spade Key. He would peek through the keyhole, were it not actually a barcode scanner. * The Spade Key becomes the Blackjack Rules Card. * Spades' Rules Card is shot by . She then tears off his arm and shuts the safe. Spades now is unable to open the Spade-Emblazoned Safe-in-a-Safe. * Spades flips his sprite, thereby recreating the barcode needed to enter. Scanning it opens a hatch with a Spirograph on it. Spade climbs down the ladder beneath it to find a terminal, one very similar to that which the exiles use to command the kids. * Spades begins to type commands into the computer, talking to a young troll on one of the twelve screens. * The Intermission ends with a page that mirrors , wondering whether this has all been a waste of time. ru:Homestuck: Антракт Category:Midnight Crew